Valentine’s Day Is About More Than Hearts: It’s About Who We Choose to Love—and Why

Valentine’s Day often arrives wrapped in pink paper and sugar. Cards are exchanged, candy bowls are filled, and love is reduced to something we buy or post. But as a mom, a wife, a former principal, and the author of Educate the Heart, I’ve learned that the most meaningful expressions of love don’t come from stores or slogans. They come from conversations.

The kind we slow down enough to have.
The kind that shape how children understand love, worth, and values.

If we want children to grow into thoughtful, compassionate adults, we have to talk with them—not just about who they love, but why.

Love Is Learned Through Conversation

Children are always learning what matters by watching who we prioritize, how we speak about others, and what we make time for. But observation alone isn’t enough. Without conversation, children fill in the gaps themselves—and often with assumptions shaped by peers, media, or social pressure.

Valentine’s Day gives us a natural opportunity to pause and ask deeper questions:

• Who do you care about?
• How do you show love to people who aren’t your friends?
• What does it mean to love someone even when it’s hard?

These questions don’t need perfect answers. They need space.

Expanding the Definition of Love

When kids hear “Valentine’s Day,” they often think of romantic love or friendship love. But love is much bigger—and children deserve language for all of it.

There is:

• Family love — the kind that shows up even when we disagree.
• Friendship love — built on trust, loyalty, and forgiveness.
• Community love — caring about classmates, neighbors, and people we may not know well.
• Self-love — knowing your worth without needing constant approval.
• Service-based love — helping, including, standing up for others.

When we talk about these forms of love, children begin to understand that love is not just a feeling—it’s a choice and a responsibility.

Who We Value Sends a Message

One of the most powerful conversations we can have with children centers on who we value and why.

Do we only celebrate people who agree with us?
Do we value kindness as much as achievement?
Do we show love to people who are struggling, different, or inconvenient?

As a former principal, I saw firsthand how children internalize these messages. The students who felt most secure were the ones who knew they were valued not for being perfect, but for being human.

At home, as a mom, I’ve learned that these conversations don’t need to be formal. They often happen in the car, during dinner, or while folding laundry. What matters is that children know we are willing to listen—and that our values are not just spoken, but lived.

Modeling Love Matters More Than Explaining It

Children don’t just hear what we say about love; they notice how we treat our partners, how we speak about coworkers, how we respond when we’re tired or frustrated.

As a wife, I’m reminded daily that the way we handle conflict, respect, and repair becomes a blueprint for our children’s future relationships. Love isn’t about perfection—it’s about accountability, care, and consistency.

Talking with kids about love means being honest about the fact that love takes work. It means naming mistakes, apologizing, and showing that relationships are worth the effort.

Beyond Valentine’s Day, Choose Conversation

This Valentine’s Day, alongside the cards and treats, I hope we give children something lasting:

Time.
Attention.
Conversation.

Let’s ask them who they love.
Let’s tell them who we love and why.
Let’s help them see that love is expansive, inclusive, and rooted in values—not just feelings.

Because when we educate the heart, we don’t just raise children who know how to love—we raise children who know why love matters.

And that lesson lasts far longer than February 14. ❤️